Confused ...

There are many things that I want to say. Things that will remain in my mind. Just because I'm not that confident enough.

Vice Ganda o Vice Pogi?

Ang daming nagsasabing sana naging lalaki nalang si Vice. Ang daming kinikilig pag nag-aact siyang Lester o Vice Pogi. Pero kung lalaki talaga siya, kikiligin pa ba tayo ng bonggang-bongga? Sa mga nagwagwapuhang leading man na pwde niyang maging kakompetensiya gaya ni Coco M. at Piolo P., sa tingin nyo mag-stand out siya sa kanila kung lalaki talaga siya? Hindi diba? Yung kaalaman na bakla siya pero nagagawa niyang magpakalalaki, yun ang nagpapakilig sa atin. That's what makes him handsome. At dahil nga bakla siya, alam niya kung paano hulihin ang kiliti ng mga babae. Kaya naman eksaherada na ang pagkabaliw natin sa kanya. Alam kasi niya kung paano maging "ideal" man ngunit hindi kung paano maging "real" man. 
Pero ako, hindi ko na gugustuhing maging lalaki si Vice! (Para damay-damay na tayong lahat na forever hopia sa kanya! Bwahaha! Bitter lang.) mahal ko siya sa kung sino at ano pa siya! 
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NP:There is not one hair of you that I would rearrange. I love you the way you are and that will never change!

"The Unkabogable Vice Ganda"

 

(and here I am again, writing as an obsessed fan! But I just can't help it. I have lots of things to say when it comes to my idol, Vice Ganda!)

"Ha? Bakit? Bakit ano yun?" -Vice Ganda 

With his pulchritude, wit, humor and charisma, the unkabogable Vice Ganda has unconsciously touched the lives of many Filipino youths (including me) whom he refers to as his "little ponies". His favorable public reputation is highly honored and acclaimed. It is true that he is now one of those stars in show business who are in their peak of success. But what's really nice about this 36-year old comedian is that he still remains/maintains his feet on the ground. (and that's pretty hard because he's flying, soaring up high, flipping his wings and almost reaching the clouds but never forgets that he still has feet to walk on a filthy soil, just like what he used to do before) That is why he deserves all his success and, in all fairness naman, he really worked hard to reach that summit which was seemingly difficult to mount at. But hey! Si Vice Ganda pa! What do you expect? Of course, he can surpass all those difficulties along the way. Duh! Kaya nga he's the UNKABOGABLE one, eh!..:)

"In All Fairness!"

"When you give love, you get love too because what goes around comes around." Fair. Just. Unbiased. Call it anything you want. It's just the same anyway. Some would associate this to karma. "If you would do bad to others, they will also do the same for you". If you laugh out loud today, tomorrow you might cry a sea. Sounds bad but that's the way it is. Have you ever felt so happy but tears flow from your eyes? Have you experienced laughing so hard but afterwards you cry without any reason at all? Weird, isn't it? But it just goes to show that all things should be fair. Although I know that life is really not fair. Why do I let myself suffer? To be alone? Why do I allow myself to get hurt? Well, it's because I believe that if you experience happiness, you have to experience pain as well. Those two should go together. That's why I want to bear all the pains now so that at the end of this journey, I will be happy... So that after all these trials, I will wake up smiling to embrace a perfect day! Hmm, sana nga.. Guess I just have to wait and see...

Ang Buhay ng Isang Fan

Naranasan nyo na bang humanga sa isang tao? Mapa-artista, mang-aawit, komedyante, at iba pa... Iyon bang hindi kumpleto ang araw nyo hangga't hindi siya masilayan kahit sa telebisyon man lang. Yung paggising mo sa umaga ay binabati mo ng "good morning" sabay halik ang larawan niya. Yung sa sobrang ka-iisip mo sa kanya ay napapanaginipan mo na siya. Yung umiiyak ka pag brown-out dahil alam mong nasa tv siya. Yung halos mapuno na ang dingding ng kwarto mo sa mga posters niya. Yung inuulit mo ang sinasabi niya. Hayy, ang dami pang ginagawa ng isang fan na hindi alam at maaaring hindi na malalaman kailanman ng kanyang hinahangaan.

Hindi naman masama ang humanga. Lahat naman siguro ng tao ay may kanya-kanyang iniidolo. Lalo pa't kung nagiging mabuting impluwensya siya sa'yo. Ngunit hanggang kailan ito? Normal ba talaga ang nararamdaman ko? Bakit yung ibang tao humahanga sa isang artista pero hindi sila nag-aabalang gawin yung mga nasa taas? Sumosobra na ba ang pag-iidolo ko sa kanya? Ano ba ang dapat gawin? Ayoko mang isipin pero pakiramdam ko siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako masaya...kung bakit ginagawa ko ang lahat upang maging mabuting mamamayan. Siguro nga ganito talaga ang buhay ng isang fan. Nagmamahal kahit alam mong hindi ito masusuklian. Pero ayos lang. Ganun talaga! Sumasaya naman ako. Hinding-hindi ako magsisisi na tingalain ang isang napakagandang bituin dahil alam ko, karapat-dapat naman siyang mahalin.

Kaya Vice Ganda! Kahit anong mangyari... Kahit naririndi ka na sa hiyawan ng mga tagahanga mo... Sa paulit-ulit na kasisigaw ng "I love you, Bays!"... Hinding-hindi parin kami titigil. Dahil ito lang ang paraan upang kahit papaano'y mailabas namin ang aming paghanga at taos-pusong pasasalamat sa iyo! I LOVE YOU, VICE GANDA!

"Thy will be done"

Full of restrictions, full of rules... Imposing what to feel, how to react. Yes, I exist, but I'm not sure if I am living. I'm longing for a hand to wipe away my tears... For ears to listen to the voice of soul... a person who understands, cares and loves me. But I am surrounded by opposite people - who care only for themselves - who are judgmental. They don't understand anything because they are just concerned on what they are saying. But this doesn't bother me anymore. I'm already tired... Though I'm still hoping that God will give me the real meaning to my existence. I still dream of magic just like when I was a child. I still want to see Vice Ganda. I still want to exist to see the lives of people - miserable, desperate, struggling, fighting, happy and contented. And maybe someday, i would witness myself doing the same - LIVING.

Maybe also... Maybe this is not the place where God wants me to be happy. Maybe He just wants me to see, to learn and to understand life.

I feel as if I already have no point in living. This life might just be a waste. However, God always knows what will happen. Yes! Just go with it... 'Surrender and follow'... "Thy will be done!"

"MY GROWN UP XMAS LIST"

by Kelly Clarkson

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasy

Well I'm a grown up now
and still need help somehow
I'm not a child
but my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
my grown up Christmas list
not for myself
but for the world in need

No more lives torn apart
and wars will never start
and time can heal our hearts
and everyone would have a friend
and right will always win
and love will never end
this is my grown up Christmas list